Why I don't Love Chickens

OK, so this afternoon, after exorcising the Devil from the Family Pet (see previous Post), I drove into the garage, unhooked and unloaded said Pet, gathered all my stuff from the car, and walked into the house. After putting away a few items, I happened to glance outside and caught the silhouette of a chicken in the carport. Frick, thought I. So, I put a hat on my head and my now-bare feet back into my boots and walked outside. After 10 unsuccessful minutes of trying to shoo the damn bird back into the greenhouse-turned-chicken coop, I gave up and went back into the house. The problem was that: (A) I did not want to pick up the squirmy creature, and (B) the other 4 foul were at the greenhouse door and wouldn't stay inside long enough for the escapee to get back in. I didn't have enough hands to open the door, shoo, and keep the 4 inside.

I kept going outside to keep an eye on the prodigal poultry. She first walked under our deck, then later got herself in the cramped space between the two closets of the carport. The next time I went to check for her I couldn't find her. After searching and searching, I stood still and listened and thought I could hear her but couldn't see her anywhere. Finally I had the bright idea to look up and found her on top of the coop.

After a few more minutes, I went back in the house and ate a chunk of the 1-kg Chocolate Santander bar Nicky was kind enough to order for me. Later, I walked onto the back deck and saw that our little Mephisto was now on the garage roof. 

She slowly worked her way up to the peak of the roof. What a mofro, thought I.

Teeka was out on the deck at the time and she and I watched the dumb chick for a long time. Finally I went back inside the house and into my bedroom. I was changing my clothes when I glanced out the window and saw she was at the edge of the roofline, facing toward the house, standing on one leg. It was as if she realized that if she took the next step, she would step into air. Then she put the second foot down right on the edge...her little chicken toes were curled over the lip of the roof. I thought she was going to jump down to the ground. Instead she took off and flew across the yard and tried to land on my bedroom windowsill!! She couldn't grab onto it and kept flapping her wings and squawking until finally she dropped to the ground. Oh my gosh!  I ran out onto the deck and Teeka looked at me and I swear to God said "Wasn't that crazy?" and I said "Yes! What's wrong with those chickens, Teek?!" 

A minute later Max rode into the carport. I pointed to the chicken. Max calmly scooped her up and deposited her where she belongs.

OK, that's all I got.